About Me

I always question myself about me. I wonder about who I am and how I am perceived by others. The reason for this is simple, I know that the way I do things is found to be odd or annoying or rude or just strange many times. Recently I joined Twitter to see what it is like. From there I have joined several other sites. I have two sets of accounts, one has my real name or a very close approximation, the other has another handle for the name. The second set of accounts is to minimize people from tracking me down without some effort and sophistication. The first set is so I can maybe meet the people in real life.

Today my lack of social grace hit me in the face again and I felt bad about what I did, and now I am feeling melancholy about my inability to overcome some real social ineptitude I have. I seem to have insulted a very nice young lady on Twitter while trying to be smart. I spend so much time is spent inside my head that I fail to take into account people perceiving my comments any differently than I perceive the comments. All too often I insult people without meaning to, largely due to gaffs in my word selection, but also due to a level of insensitivity.

At the end of the day I am sitting here alone in a hotel room, traveling for work again, frustrated because of my poor social skills. While I often enjoy being alone, I am not enjoying being lonely. I am not sure exactly what I want, but I do know that being a social clod is not part of my desires. When I look at my father and the place he is in his life I know clearly that I want to be no where near where he is, except alive that is.

So in the end, my life is better than I make it out to be, better than many other people's lives, and can be better still once I get my act together.